How to Fix Communication Problems in a Marriage

When was the last time you got in a fight with your spouse?

More importantly, when was the last time where you had a revelation and insight into what was really going on for the both of you and why this fight was happening? If it’s been a while, or if you can’t remember ever resolving things, it’s time to start looking into fixing your communication problems.

A big part of being in a relationship is being able to communicate effectively with your partner. This means being able to listen to each other, understand each other, and respond in a way that is helpful and not hurtful. It’s not easy overcoming old habits, but it’s possible if you’re willing to try.

Keep reading to learn the best tips for improving marriage communication.

Improving Marriage Communication With Active Listening

You say around 7,000 words a day. A big part of improving communication in a relationship involves learning how to listen more than you speak.

If you’re not sure where to start, here are some tips:

1. Make an effort to really listen when your spouse is talking. This means not just hearing the words but also trying to understand the meaning behind them.
2. Avoid interrupting or trying to finish your spouse’s sentences for them. Let them finish what they’re saying before responding.
3. When you’re upset about something, try to express yourself calmly and respectfully. Avoid attacking or belittling your spouse in the process.
4. Avoid making assumptions about what your spouse is thinking or feeling. Instead, ask them directly.
5. Take turns talking and listening. Make sure both you and your spouse feel like you are getting a chance to speak.
6. Try to be open-minded and willing to compromise. It’s important to remember that you’re on the same team, not enemies.
7. Make time for regular check-ins with your spouse. This will help ensure that you’re both on the same page and address any issues before they become major problems.

If you’re having communication problems in your marriage, don’t ignore them. By taking steps to improve communication, you can make your relationship stronger and happier.

Ground Rules for Heated Discussions

Emotions make it hard to think clearly. But ground rules can help keep you and your partner safe emotionally. When you and your spouse agree on certain ground rules, you can avoid causing emotional trauma.

1. Keep your cool. This can be difficult, but it’s important to keep your emotions in check. If you get too upset, the conversation will become counterproductive.
2. Avoid yelling or name-calling. This will only make the situation worse and make it harder to come to a resolution.
3. Try to see things from your spouse’s perspective. It’s easy to get caught up in your own point of view, but it’s important to try and understand where your spouse is coming from.
4. Be willing to compromise. In any relationship, there has to be give and take. If you’re not willing to budge on certain issues, the conversation will quickly become frustrating for both of you.
5. Don’t bring up past issues. This will only make the current situation worse and prevent you from resolving the issue at hand.

When you’re upset over something that happened this morning, you might feel an urge to bring up the last time it happened too. But this type of past-shaming isn’t productive. Instead, let current issues be current and dealt with in the now.

If settling things at home isn’t working, seeking professional help should be your next step. A therapist can help you identify and work through any underlying issues contributing to the problem.

Communicating Through Counselling

Marriage counselors help couples improve their relationships using several different approaches. They may provide pre-marriage counseling, which can help couples identify potential problems in their relationship.

In some cases, marriage counselors may also provide one-on-one therapy for individuals who are having difficulty in their relationships. This type of therapy can help people understand themselves and their partners better. It can also help people learn how to deal with conflict in a more constructive way.

Finding the Right Marriage Counsellor

When searching for marriage counseling near me, it is important to find a counselor who is a good fit for you and your partner.  Counselors come from different backgrounds and have different training. You should interview several counselors before choosing one.

It is also important to make sure that the counselor you choose is licensed and accredited. You can check with your state’s licensing board to verify that a counselor is licensed in your state.

When you meet with a marriage counselor, be sure to ask about their experience and training. Ask about their success rate with couples. Also, ask about the types of therapy they use and whether they have experience with your particular issue.

Before you begin counseling, be sure to discuss your goals for counseling with your counselor. Be honest about your expectations. Counseling can be a helpful tool for couples, but it is not a magic solution to all relationship problems.

Writing Letters to Each Other

Instead of speaking everything, try writing it out. It could be a letter, an email, or even just a simple note. This can help you express your feelings in a different way, and it may even help you communicate better when you’re actually speaking to each other.

Plus, it’s a nice way to keep communication going even when you’re not together. You can start things off by writing a love letter to your spouse, telling them all the things you love about them.

Then, whenever you’re feeling upset or frustrated, write it all down and give it to them when you’re ready. It may not seem like much, but this can be a really effective way to communicate in a marriage.

Overcoming Communication Problems

Now you know the ebb and flow of a typical marriage, what the challenges are in each stage, and some tips on how to overcome them.

Just remember that every relationship is different, so don’t get discouraged if your marriage doesn’t look exactly like this. You can fix all of your communication problems, but it takes time.

The most important thing is to keep communication open with your spouse. Talk about your feelings, and be ready to do a lot of listening too.

Want a few more tips to make things smooth? Read another one of our blog posts!