Tips to set boundaries with your friends
You love your friends. You love them more than Joey loved Chandler, or Monica loved Rachel, which is why you feel guilty about broaching the subject of boundaries with them.
So, you do not go down that route. You let your friends in your space and your life without any areas being off-limits to them.
However, that choice also then has implications for your health. If the relationships are not about mutual ease and comfort, then they become a source of mental turmoil.
Boundaries are important!
When you are constantly put in an uncomfortable position because you cannot enforce boundaries with your friends, then that might lead to the friendship becoming a source of anxiety and stress, instead of these issues. Some may even then require help from a mental health expert like Best Psychologist in Lahore , because they have no positive relationships to help them through the mental ordeal.
Suffice to say, having boundaries is important in every relationship, not just friends. Admittedly, it is easier said than done. You are afraid that it might be misconstrued by your friend or your need for space might offend them, but you must take this step for the sake of your sanity.
If they’re genuinely your good friend with your interests at heart, they will understand. However, the way you go about enforcing boundaries is important.
Tips to establish boundaries
Be gentle
Don’t lash out to your friend when they get into the domain that makes you uncomfortable. At the same time, don’t give into the pressure and comply with their attitude.
When they do cross into the persona non grata zone, be gentle in telling them off. Use kind phrases like I would rather not discuss this right now, or I do not want to talk about this at the moment, can we discuss something else please?
Having a gentle tone helps in driving your point across without offending your friend.
Be firm
While your tone should be gentle, your demeanor should be firm. Your friend should not be confused as to whether you’re serious or are jesting. Hence, make sure to phrase yourself in a way that there is no doubt about it.
For example, if your friend wants to meet during your work hours, say something on lines of I cannot take a break from work, but how about we meet tomorrow after work, and do not then give into them, unless of course it is an emergency.
Mark your space
Some topics are personal, and you don’t want to share them with your friends, which is completely okay. If your friend continues to pry, you need to tell them that the topic is off-limits, but unless you tell them, they will not know.
So, when the topic is uncomfortable for you, just politely tell them that you’d rather not talk about it. Soften the blow with some words of love because your good friends actually do mean well. Say something on lines of, I really appreciate your concern and love, but I am not comfortable talking about it with anyone.
Don’t let it alter your relationship
Boundaries do not mean that you become impersonal with your friends, it just means that you mutually decide that some topics are off-limits. Your friends are also important.
Talk to them
Being straightforward with your friends is important. They will understand and respect your decision once they know how uncomfortable you are with some topics.
Professional help
Having boundaries is important for your wellbeing. If you are unable to enforce them, the friends who should technically be your source of solace become your source of anxiety, that further impairs your health. So, if you are still struggling with your relationships, boundaries and prioritizing yourself, then seek help from a professional such as Ms. Zahra Kalsoom Psychologist instead of suffering in vain.
